Mr Literal wanted a 5 cake for his 5th birthday - go figure
I know, I haven’t actually published tips 1 – 6 but well, who needs to see them in order? In fact, I’m not sure if I have more than 1 tip in me. So here goes.
5 year old boys take things very literally. Perhaps 5 year old girls do too. I don’t have one of those so I can’t say for sure (the dog doesn’t count).
Earlier this week, after having read Picklebums, I remembered that I used to make porcupines – all the time. But I haven’t made them for ages, so long now that Bruce, the 5 year old had forgotten all about them.
Being a Tuesday and therefore karate night for Squidge, I try and cook something that can simmer/bake away while dropping him off. Porcupines – the perfect solution.
Don’t know about porcupines? Taste has a very good recipe – and it helps to read the comments for some tips. They are basically minced meat with grated onion, garlic, other seasoning and dry rice. Roll in to balls. Pop in a pot of boiling tomato soup and simmer away until cooked. As they cook the rice cooks and puffs out – making them look like procupines. We, not surprisingly, call them hodgehegs.
Me: “Dinner’s ready, c’mon Bruce”
Bruce: “What are we having?”
Me: “Hodgehegs, look, this one is perfect, looks just like a hodgeheg, all it needs is legs and a little face”
Bruce: <bursts into tears>
Me: “What’s wrong? Come on – you’ve got to at least try one – they’re yummy!”
Bruce: “I don’t want to eat A hodgeheg!”
Me: <penny drops> “Oh, they’re not real hodgehegs! I didn’t go out into the bush and trap hodgehegs and chop their legs off and cook them in soup.”
Bruce: “Oh” <blows nose and wipes eyes, still highly suspicious>
In the end he ate two and thought they were yummy. Sometimes I forget how literal he can be. Other times I depend on it. Like when I cook ‘cheesy rice’. “It’s rice with cheese” I say, neglecting to mention the chicken, bacon, onion and asparagus which has cooked for so long it looks like oozy green cheese. We lurve cheesy rice. And now he loves hodgehegs. Again. Phew.